Tag Archives: life

Love’s entanglement

Even when everything can be going right at the stage we are in, I can’t help but wonder what will happen in a year or two, but especially in five. Are we on a path destined to end and if we are, is it worth the pain? The pain that will be 100 times stronger than if it would be if it were to end now.

 We’re moving together, but are you moving in the same direction I am or am I in yours? How can something smaller than the weight of love, be the decision of destiny?

It’s too early to know now. But how long do we wait to know when the right way is the way we’re moving?  Because the longer we climb, the harder we will fall.


A Sunny Thunderstorm

This weekend was a flurry of emotions for me.

At one spectrum, I was more than happy because I got to hang out with two people who are of extreme importance in my life. Drinks were drunk, songs were danced, samosas were eaten. The beach  was definitely a great part of the weekend as well. Not so much for relaxing, but for the sport I love best, beach volleyball. Oh how I love it. It is so challenging, so tough, but yet so easy and calming. It really is the best of both worlds.The only thing that I’m not too fond of is the sun. Sun is great, but too much is not obviously. I’m starting to develop freckles on my forearms and the ones on my shoulder are multiplying. I was told that freckles are bad if they are developed from the sun, and with that on my mind I keep thinking I’m going to attract skin cancer the more I play. But I don’t think I can ever stop playing, even if it’s not good for my health.

On the other spectrum, I was flooded with very, very sad news. News that is only going to become more common as the years come and go. I’m not one to deal with bad news very well. To be honest, I don’t know how to. In my culture, there are many things you don’t bring up because of superstitions. As a Chinese born Canadian, it’s hard to find a balance between the two cultures. I have the urge to talk about what happened and to seek the support I need, but at the same time I hold back from because my Chinese customs believing  it’s bad luck to speak of such things. How does one find a balance between the clash?

Let alone, how do you describe a weekend like this? It was absolutely fantastic, but it was also extremely sad. I’m torn from all directions and I don’t know how to mend the gap.

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I am not sure what it is, but something is pulling me down – almost into the lonely abyss I’ve avoided for the past 5 years. I’m starting to feel the need to push people away again. This cycle replaying every few years, but yet I have no reason as to why. It’s not like life is bad, it’s actually real good. Mind you, there are a lot of stresses – but nonetheless, they don’t shade over how happy I am with out life has turned out or the decisions I have made in the last few months.

If anything I should be exploding with content but I’m not and I don’t know why.


June Joys

May has been one hectic month. Non-stop hours of work and volunteer, and not enough volleyball. I managed to squeeze in some beach volleyball this past weekend which I am thankful for.

On the brighter side, June is arriving! Not only will I have a metropass (since I lost my May pass), lots of activities are happening which I am greatly looking forward to. Going to Cuba at the end of May, into June. Convocation which also means I get to reunite with my Comm buds. LOTS of hot yoga. Dinner vouchers to a couple of delicious restaurants, which means more chances to blog. Competing in the Toronto City Chase for the first time. Cottage at the end of the month.



Highlights of life

I’m not one to share my personal life with others. But my life is in a great place right now. I have great friends, the cutest niece and the best boyfriend anyone can have. What else can be better than this?


Not feeling the TGIF acronym…

It’s been about month since  my undergrad and I can definitely say, I am even busier than ever. Exact opposite of what I hoped it would be like.

For one, I have to pay more bills because of OSAP and “rent”. Secondly, now that I am working full-time, I am spending more because of the money flow. I’ve officially become a shopaholic, however now when I do shop, an image of my boyfriend’s disappointed expression veers me away from it. However, the thing that takes most of my time is my free time which can be associated as my volunteer time. I’ve taken on two more responsibilities to keep myself busy but I am a lot busier than initially imagined. It’s nice, but it cuts time out of my family, friends and myself.

This weekend, I will need to design a new template for my highschool’s alumni newsletter, and update another organization’s website to reflect the gala we are currently planning. Aside from that, I am going to do some DIY crafts! I am building a coat rack – just a simple one – and a board that will lean on my desk against the wall with small shelves to put everyday things, such as keys, access card, phone, iPod etc.

This weekend will be the busiest weekend of the month for me. So instead of looking forward to the weekend, I’m looking forward to the end of it. If only Monday can come any quicker!


The little things

On NYE I rang in the new year with my closest friends, while a friend of mine on the other end of the world was shaken with an earthquake. I expressed sorrow but he replied like it was no biggie.

It’s amazing when you think about how people live in the conditions they live in. An earthquake in Toronto would be chaos, while in Japan it’s just another day. Imagine living in a house where water is only a few steps away, when your whole life you’ve been fetching water from the nearest well which is miles down the dirt road. Many don’t appreciate the little things in life. But are the little things in our lives, something that would be valued in another life? LS

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