Beginning of a timeless future

Love, you are so patient. Losing you, would be losing time.

I’ll never forget those first few times with you. There was so much uncertainty in my thoughts and feeling – the good ones obviously. Little did I know, you were thinking the same thing I was, ‘Damn, you would be a pretty sweet catch with that pretty sweet smile.’

I always think back to this, because this was the start to what will be the best life I’ll ever live.



I remember when I was a little girl,
My mother was the smartest person alive.
She knew everything life had to offer,
And always told me that “It’s never a one-way street.”
That there was always a way to get to where you want to go.

She was also the strongest woman I knew.
Cracking open crab shells one crab after another.
Dicing meat faster than I could blink twice.
Walking from the stove to the counter,
Carrying pots and pans, boxes of ingredients,
All the while carrying my little brother on her back in a satchel.
She really was Super Woman then,
and still is.

Sometimes, she reminded me of Inspector Gadget.
She always found the cleverest ways to patch things up.
We didn’t live with money.
So when the cushions of our dining chairs peeked out from under the covering,
My mother would cover it using a different cloth.
To save on buying a dryer,
Our basement was one entire drying room.
Knobs falling off the pots?
Don’t worry those wood chips blocks saved in our backyard will work.
Intelligent and smart she is.

Mother’s day is coming up,
And I will never forget the first time I was able to tell her ‘Happy Mother’s Day’.
She doesn’t speak English and my Cantonese is only as good as the exposure around me.
I came home from Chinese school with a card and a flower out of tissue paper I made,
Written in Chinese was ‘Happy Mother’s Day’.
As I opened the door,
I ran to my mother who was already cooking up a feast and handed both to her.
She chuckled, bent down and hugged me and said,
“Thanks, Fong. Every day is Mother’s Day with you.”
She kissed my cheek,
And off I went not only knowing that I made my mother’s day a little more special that day,
But that I was the luckiest little girl to have such as woman as her as my mother.

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The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it. – Benjamin Disraeli

The best way to…


A first for everything

Please lend me your eyes
So I can meet you again
First time in ten years

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Dear Doctor,

As a little girl, the world to me was only as far south as Boston, far east as the Toronto Beaches, as far north as Pacific Mall and as far west as the Junction. Why? Well Boston is where my mum’s siblings reside – often visiting once a year, the beaches is where my sisters often took me every summer, what Asian did not know go to Pacific Mall and every Saturday was our weekly visits to Gong Gong and Po Po’s (Grandpa & Grandma) in the Junction.

As a little girl, my parents were ageless and smart. They knew almost everything about life and I swear, they were psychic. In the mornings, I use to wake up and sneak into the kitchen to eat chocolate chip cookies. My stairs are notorious for creaking, however, I found a clever way to walk on it which would stabilize the wooden boards beneath. I would step on the edges ever so lightly where the support is firmest. This I mastered as my mum couldn’t even hear it as she sewed away directly below. But the part that was always the hardest, was opening the pantry door. As soon as she heard that door open ever so slightly, “Ah Fongggg” will come traveling up the stairs. And all I can think to myself is, ‘Damn it, not again.’

Fong is my name in Chinese.

Although my parents were ageless and smart, my grandparents on the other hand were wise and immortal. They were old, but immortal. They would live forever in that giant house down the street from Annette. It would always be a pleasure coming home to see their shoes at the front door only to be welcomed by the best two people in the whole entire world.

Now Doctor, I know you save people and solve things. And I know you’re not real. But if you were, I’d make it my one wish to go back to when I was a little girl, when death was non-existence, when the word healthy was the definition of every person in the whole entire world (even if it was only from the Beaches to the Junction) and when I could always look forward to their shoes aligned neatly at the front of my home.

Yours truly,

The Berber Experience

A few Fridays ago I finally decided to use my travelzoo voucher for BerBer Resto Bar Lounge. It was the best food I’ve ever tasted. It was my first time having Berber food, so I am not sure if the experience was as close to the real culture, but nonetheless the food was amazing.

The venue was interesting. There didn’t seem like there was much seating for dinner. All the seating were very similar to the lounge, which was different from a normal restaurant but a little tough when trying to eat due to the low tables.

My menu:

  1. Anti-Pasto – smoked salmon, artichoke w/ other stuff
  2. Lambchop w/ mashed potato
  3. Sorbet mixed w/ Grenadine
  4. 8oz Steak with vegetables
  5. Creme Brulee

Everything was delicious. I couldn’t believe how tasty everything was. The service was a little mismatched in the kitchen, but the server I had took great care of us and offered us a drink on the house as an apology.

I would go here again – and many more times (if I could afford it!).

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Love’s entanglement

Even when everything can be going right at the stage we are in, I can’t help but wonder what will happen in a year or two, but especially in five. Are we on a path destined to end and if we are, is it worth the pain? The pain that will be 100 times stronger than if it would be if it were to end now.

 We’re moving together, but are you moving in the same direction I am or am I in yours? How can something smaller than the weight of love, be the decision of destiny?

It’s too early to know now. But how long do we wait to know when the right way is the way we’re moving?  Because the longer we climb, the harder we will fall.


A Sunny Thunderstorm

This weekend was a flurry of emotions for me.

At one spectrum, I was more than happy because I got to hang out with two people who are of extreme importance in my life. Drinks were drunk, songs were danced, samosas were eaten. The beach  was definitely a great part of the weekend as well. Not so much for relaxing, but for the sport I love best, beach volleyball. Oh how I love it. It is so challenging, so tough, but yet so easy and calming. It really is the best of both worlds.The only thing that I’m not too fond of is the sun. Sun is great, but too much is not obviously. I’m starting to develop freckles on my forearms and the ones on my shoulder are multiplying. I was told that freckles are bad if they are developed from the sun, and with that on my mind I keep thinking I’m going to attract skin cancer the more I play. But I don’t think I can ever stop playing, even if it’s not good for my health.

On the other spectrum, I was flooded with very, very sad news. News that is only going to become more common as the years come and go. I’m not one to deal with bad news very well. To be honest, I don’t know how to. In my culture, there are many things you don’t bring up because of superstitions. As a Chinese born Canadian, it’s hard to find a balance between the two cultures. I have the urge to talk about what happened and to seek the support I need, but at the same time I hold back from because my Chinese customs believing  it’s bad luck to speak of such things. How does one find a balance between the clash?

Let alone, how do you describe a weekend like this? It was absolutely fantastic, but it was also extremely sad. I’m torn from all directions and I don’t know how to mend the gap.

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The Sultan’s Tent

A few weeks ago, I got the chance to eat at The Sultan’s Tent for a discounted price because of a voucher through Travelzoo. Their menu is different from most restaurants. Although it only caters a 4-course prix-fixed menu, there is an à la carte menu for the front part of the restaurant called Cafe Maroc. The difference between the two, is that Sultan’s Tent includes a belly dancing show while Cafe Maroc doesn’t.

The highlight of this night was somewhat the belly dancing show, but truthfully, I was only there for the food. First thing’s first, the food was delicious! Here is what I ordered:

  1. Harira – tomato soup with chick peas, kidney beans, lentils and spices.
  2. Maftoul – crispy pastry with mixed beef, cashews and raisins with a chipotle aioli on the side to dip.
  3. Moroccan Beef Short Rib
  4. Brulee Royale – crème brulee with pistachios.

My favourite dish was the second course. The crispy texture was perfect and the stuffing found balance between moist and dry. The short rib was cooked perfectly as well. I got lucky as my friend who also ordered the same main dish, had more fat in his slice than mine. I paid a little extra for the crème brulee but it was definitely worth the extra $4.

Overall, I liked the experience. The atmosphere was fun, the belly dancing was mesmerizing (depending on the dancer personally) and the food was better than expected. I have heard that Sultan’s Tent had terrible food 4-5 years ago, but it’s definitely stepped up its game. This venue would be great for a group of friends, birthdays or bachelorette parties.

The layout is very middle eastern. There are about  6 seating areas, and in each area it fits about 4 tables, each seating 4 comfortably.

The menu starts at $35.95 and up depending on what you order. I don’t think I would go back for the regular price of what they charge, but if there is ever a deal, I’d say it’s worth experiencing.


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I am not sure what it is, but something is pulling me down – almost into the lonely abyss I’ve avoided for the past 5 years. I’m starting to feel the need to push people away again. This cycle replaying every few years, but yet I have no reason as to why. It’s not like life is bad, it’s actually real good. Mind you, there are a lot of stresses – but nonetheless, they don’t shade over how happy I am with out life has turned out or the decisions I have made in the last few months.

If anything I should be exploding with content but I’m not and I don’t know why.